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The Super Lucky #1 Fun Blog


Bike improvements! (Also, check that beautimous grout in the background. Hell yeah.) Will share some picks of my steely steed once her new bamboo fenders are on.

Groutgate 2012: before and after sample! Jealous? Here’s a step-by-step:

1) Make sure former homeowners are geniuses who think white tile and untreated white grout are a GREAT idea for a kitchen floor.

2) Compile a new cleaning playlist, heavy on the Ludacris and Nicki Minaj.

3) Scrub the shit out of the narsty gray grout with Soft Scrub and a grout brush. Let sit half an hour.

4) Thoroughly wipe away Soft Scrub residue with a wet sponge. Your grout should now be a much less offensive shade of gray.

5) Hit replay on Super Bass.

6) Clean area with a steam mop.

7) Strap on a respirator and some rubber gloves, and stick a box fan backward in the nearest window.

8) The instructions on the back of your Homax™ combination grout whitener and sealer will repeatedly reference an applicator tip, which will NOT be included in its box. Find a foam brush instead. Apply the grout sealer like paint, being semi-tidy about it.

9) Let the grout sealer sit for 2–3 hours, while you drink 2–3 beers and watch reality shows about hoarding, feeling extremely self-satisfied, because YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR GROUT, MOTHERFUCKERS! and possibly high on Homax™ fumes.

10) With a damp cloth, wipe the dried sealer from the tile, avoiding the groutline as much as possible.

11) Gloat, ideally over another beer and/or episode of Hoarders.